confessions of a materialist

I recently applied as a transfer student to some of the UCs. One of the application essay questions asked very generally about me as a person, so I decided to write about this blog and how it shapes who I am. There are some bits that I have been meaning to post at the end, but here is the whole thing. I will highlight and organize it into bits.

The ways I view and interact with the world have changed significantly since I started to write for my blog, the big blanket. I felt that many of the people around me had grown disenchanted with their life and what it has to offer. Although I agreed with many of the pessimistic points they made, I realized that we all have the power to change our perceptions and be grateful, even mystified, by the chance we are given to live. One of the recurring posts my best friend, Patrick, and I write are lists of events, emotions or things that, while by most may be considered insignificant, are examples of the beauty, humor and poignancy that can be found in day to day life. Whether it is the rhythmic motion of the bus, the sensuality of cooking with your bare hands or the fleeting romance of making eye contact with strangers, I wanted to express to those around me that in every moment there is a chance to make art, find love and be happy. Through writing this blog, I have taken on the mindset I have hoped to bestow on its readers. I find myself constantly trying to keep my eyes, and heart, open to the world around me. Not only are films, essays and books chances to learn, but also conversations, solitary walks and chance encounters.

KNITTING
For instance, I had always thought of knitting as an incredibly passive activity that while relaxing, was rather redundant. My perception slowly changed, however, and I realized that by knitting, I am creating something beautiful and functional out of a series of knots. This was a good way to think about life's hardships, I realized, and that although times may be difficult, to keep in mind that by looking at the bigger picture, it is worth the struggle.
CASSETTES
In another instance, I was frustrated that my favorite band only sold musics on cassettes, which I found to be so archaic, inefficient and bulky. After finally buying the cassette, the chunky plastic rectangle started to grow on me. The good thing about tapes, I thought to myself, is that you are forced to listen to the album all the way through. With a tape you slowly build connections with each song and accept it as a whole entity, as opposed to gleaming out your favorites like with a MP3 player. This taught me a lesson about human relationships. No individual person is free of flaws or will complement your qualities perfectly. Friendship should not only take place when it is convenient- in fact it is most significant when it is not. Looking back on it, the healthiest relationships have the occasional weak spots and arguments as it proves each individuals dedication, patience and understanding to the other.

These are only a couple of examples of the small and large changes I have made in my thoughts, actions and interactions that have altered the way I view the world; I appreciate life's small rewards and accept life's big downfalls, while also living in the present moment. This has also helped me reconcile my spiritual beliefs. It is increasingly more and more difficult to find meaning in a world where we make friends with computer screens, run miles on a conveyor belt and prescribe well being in a pill. I have opened my eyes to the beauty that still exists in our world and only hope to help others do the same.
(the end).



On top of this, I would like to add the act of
COLLAGING
The other day I was joking with my friend Franny while I cut out pictures for a soon-to-be collage. I mentioned how collage is often seen as a lesser art form, if an art form at all. I understand why people think this, but I see something more romantic than stealing and rearranging others' paintings and photos. First of all, I like to think I am recycling artistically. Other than this, when I collage, I create whole new worlds out of what I usually assume is a stable world, how the world "is supposed to be". But I take these elements, remove them from their "natural home" and place them in a completely new environment. This gives me the courage to create, mold and alter my world and my views. Most of life and our relationships can also be seen as collages; as random assortments of colors, vocal points, national geographic clippings, all from different magazines and books but when they come together make something beautiful, bizarre, sometimes even eerie. Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, these images are even more beautiful in their new surroundings. They are no longer stiff and confined to the stiff pages of textbooks. They form a cacophony of paper that eventually learns to harmonize.
When I collage, it gives new meaning, purpose and beauty to otherwise discarded scraps of newspaper. They are given a second chance at infinity, immortality. Sometimes it makes me think that maybe I, too, in memory, in spoken word, may find some sort of immortality. That the words I speak will ring forever in the ears of my peers, like an echo in a cave caused by a rock that has long since quit tumbling but whose presence lingers on. That maybe all that I have done, said and felt may reverberate continuously through the world. These actions are the notes which cause(along with many many many others) the tuning fork (the world) to hum, and long after the key has been played, the vibrations can be felt.